For Her, To Her !

Parching her with the norms
The society breathes
Hushing her voice
Ohh, they want to lead

Her soul should be calm
Her thoughts pure
Oh dear Lord
Else, how she'll endure

Publishing her a rulebook
They amend it occasionally
It's for her safety, you see
They carve it so beautifully

Tormenting her deep
How far you'll go
Ignorant of her resilience
One day you'll all bow

Concurrent in her mind
Are plenty symphonic nodes
Swapping them in right time
She won't let them reload

Home away from Home !

I can't even begin to tell you, that how much I am going to miss you all ! How fortunate was I, that in my second year of college Mamu got transferred here at Dappar and there was I so glad, so happy within. Knowing that I am going to feel all blessed again by getting to spend time with people I owe my childhood to.

How do I even start with nanu - nani ! I always feel that I am their favourite one ! After all I have got to spend some of the best and beautiful and memorable times with them. From being with my nani all day long when I was a toddler to waiting for nanu to come back from office along with her, going to walks, jumping and twirling with them, reciting poems to nanu, telling him tables when I learnt, studying from him, relishing meals that nani cooked, sleeping in between them, waiting for holidays so as to that I could go to nani ghar and spend my vacations with them. Never letting my other cousins to sleep with them even when I knew that they come like once in a year and I am here all day long ! 22 years have passed since then and still every memory is vivid in my mind and is treasured by the heart. I love to have discussions with nanu, hearing his good old struggling days, such inspiring stories and my nani, she can never get tired of pulling my cheeks and kissing me. Your blessings I need them for a lifetime! How you both have hold each other is breathtaking. I love you both !

Mamu - Mami, what shall I say about you. You guys are the best Mamu mami in this entire universe! The little things you both do, I could not not love you for them. Mamu, the way you always keep on urging me to stay with you and keep on planning ki aisa Kar leinge, you make me feel so blessed and special. Your that mysterious smile, I love that. From you making me stay few more days there at Barmer, when I was only four, to you making me stay here with you a day more, you know all the ways inside out ! Mami, I may have never said this, but you are more of a friend with whom you know I am me. With whom I can talk anything, have some serious talks and later have some loud laughters. You totally seem like us. Honestly it's you who made me feel so much home, you have always done that. Right from when you came into our lives. The way you always make sure that I take my favourite food along when I go back, I cannot thank you enough. I love you both. Thank you for always being there.

And now, last but not the least. Man ! What would I have done without you two army brats! Right from the day you were born, Ashish you have beaten the shit out of me ! Hahahahahahaha. Not that good words! From our innumerable fights which are never ending, to our crazy times and memories. My childhood would have been vague without you. My first little sibling you are, we have our secrets, we have our fights, you irritate me like hell and I am like, that's it ! I am never going to listen to you and what next then ! I am there cooking something or the other for you. I like it when you come to me for some advice and I totally hate it when you don't listen to it. In these yers, our bond has only grown and I hope that it keeps on growing this way ! I love you
Coming to you Pistodi, oh my little girl, you are this huge bundle of joy! Crazy, insane, filled with madness and sensibility at the same time. I have had some best memories with you. Being the little one, I still remember holding you so carefully in my arms, and here you are now all grown up ! You have made me live the childhood years. Those water fights, those crazy dances, our pizza dates, our scooty rides, those singing songs, few cooking ventures, some serious talks, some secrets, from tickling you to you doing my head massage. There is no doubt I am going to miss you the most. I love you and I am going to be right there. I hope I always remain your favourite sissy !

How fortunate I was that when I came into this alien land, you all came and then when I am almost on the verge of going back home, you too are going. May be I come back here, may be I don't. I wish you all the best always. Kids, you have especially miles to go !

I love you all and I am going to miss you badly !
My home away from home!

Peace Is All We Need !

"India - Pakistan war is not that far", this is what we have been reading, listening and discussing about past few days. Lets go ahead with this, is so easy for us to say. Right ? Have we ever wondered about what its repercussions will be. Tons of innocent lives would be lost, at both side of the border. Lets ask ourselves. Do we really need this ?

What is actually the need of the hour? It is to end terrorism. War would never eliminate it forever. History is in itself the evidence, that it has always been the innocent people who suffer the most, who never ever wished for this anytime, anywhere. WAR, a mere three letter word is easy to speak of, but we can never imagine what it is going to lead us to. It is not going to be so easy for us to stand back on our feet too. I don't condemn 'Surgical Strikes'. That was required. That was the need. Shedding off the terrorists, who are continuously on the verge of  killing and are destroying the tranquil state of every living being is may be must. And may be this is what they desire for. May be this is what they wish to do, they may be want to tectonic-ally spread the disturbances of some war throughout the globe.

Look out to the Syria war. Is this what any of us want ? What is happening to us. Why do we have so much of violent instinct inside us. We are common people. We don't want this. None of us. Neither the common people in our soil, nor there at the other side of the border. Good humans exist here. Good humans exist there.

It's high time we realise, that terrorism needs to be eliminated from the roots and the entire world needs to come together and achieve that peace, which makes this Earth proud of its most sensible beings.

We don't want our soldiers to be martyred, we don't want any innocent life to go away.
All we want is the end of terrorism. And I am sure, there is definitely a better solution to it other than WAR.

"Heal the world. make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race."

P.S : This had been going through my mind since days and I really wanted express through words, but even after writing, I don't feel I have done justice, there is so much one could write and express. May be this writing was enough. Or may be it was not ! 

A Final Goodbye !

A place reflects not just few but tons of unsaid things. It holds some vibes which either would want you to stay or would want you to just run away !
And that running away feeling down casts you just so more. You keep on wondering that neither the place could be yours and nor you could be for the place. You both just don't fit in together. It's not that the place has done something to you. Even with so much good around, you become oblivious to the goodness. All you know is that you are not meant to be here. And you wait to run away as soon as you can.

And suddenly when that moment comes near by, there is this gush of flash backs where you try to gather as to how had you been living here so long ! How could you be just so strong or may be just so helpless !

The irony is that along with the contentment to leave the place, there is this irresistible feeling that now makes you want to run away sooner. It makes you impatient. It sinks in you and you lose all the strength that you had been carrying since the day you came to this place and feel helpless all over.

And here again you are collecting all those shattered pieces and there you say it to yourself, "You did it for so long. It's just a matter of few more days."

A place can either make you or break you.

Hey place

You didn't make me but I didn't let you break me either.
You were not bad may be.
May be I never wanted to find anything good in you.
I tried.
But I couldn't !

Sorry, but I am never going to miss you.
Take care till we meet again(If ever)

Sincerely
Me

One Small Step !

One small step
To glance inside
And find yourself

One small step
To embrace the uniqueness
And appreciate yourself

One small step
To travel around
And explore life

One small step
To play your quirk
And awe yourself

One small step
To go beyond the comfort zone
And live life

One small step
To appreciate what lies
And cherish the moments

One small step
To break off from mundane
And discover life

The Changing Changes

Nothing ever remains constant, it is often said. Then what about the changes we undergo ? Does the transformation that we observe in ourselves temporary or is it going to stay with us for long or may be forever? We keep on growing and we have to grow until eternity. But sometimes our conscious does not want to accept certain changes we go through. Our mind says its going to turn out pretty good for you. But our soul tries to push us back to attain one such change which it does not feel comfortable with. It pushes us so hard that we start to dislike this change and feel so shitty about it. We start to curse ourselves as to how could this just happen. We start hating ourselves about it. Somewhere may be we know that the change is must but then we just cannot accept ourselves with that change. At every point we start contradicting ourselves. What we feel, what we want to and what we actually do, everything just gets knotted up. Reason being may be how would people perceive us after the change. No, the actual reason being how would we perceive ourselves after the change. When we are not liking ourselves in the mere transformation, there is this hundred and ten percent assurance that we would not like ourselves after we are transformed into something we never wanted to within. Its just that the circumstances made us to do so.

The thing is may be we attain this transformation. But that is just the layer that lies over us. Because we can never be someone our soul does not want us to be. We may enact upon our change but the irony is we are ever going to stay the same within and this layer of transformation is too going to fade away soon.

So these changes are never constant. You change and you come back to what you are what you love to be.

After all, changes keep changing.          

Happy Happier Happiest

I am happy. The world seems happier. Life is so happening people.Wow man ! I feel so rejuvenated. So excited. So calm. Irony it is ! I am insane. Yes I am. Everyone is. Insanity is fun people. Come on. It is worth enough. Every moment must be danced upon. Plug in your earphones and move and turn to the soft music or play the music loud and dance as if no one is looking. What am I writing ? Sounds so insane. Right? I love being insane at times. Life is so worth being insane. This is the moment. Live it. Cherish it. Dance to it. Whatever. Be you. Be true. Keep aside the regrets. Shunt out the grudges. Sing out loud or just hum to your tunes. This is all random I am writing. All random it is. To which I feel sometimes randomness is good do. Random thoughts. Random actions. Smile people and spread the smiles. Go on a cliff and listen to your echo. Make it last longer. Keep on inhaling the optimism people. Pessimism, just sieve that off.

Stay charming. Stay beautiful all
I'll be back soon.

I am happy. The world seems happier. Life is happening.   

Self Travel

In the vicinity of your spaces
Let the calmness emerge
For lets make serenity your aim
And shed the bag pack of worries
To smile is innocuous
Why suppress in gloom
Take a deep breath
And for once only bloom
Life is tender enough
Perceive it beyond perceptions
Travel beneath the stars
And cherish your own introspection
Be, what you ought to be
There may be unfinished parts
Nowhere lies perfection
Love the way you are
What if there lied some errors
Don't let the fallacies harm you
You are the one in the crowd
In the vicinity of your spaces
Be true, be you

The Failures of Contrast

Those were the hustling sounds
Still silence prevailed
It was all cracking down
And the numbness didn't fail

Glancing over again
The sensations pounced back
And now was the time
That emotions did whack

Both the times
The failure waved high
All could be done
Was just Sigh

The former and latter
Shall always last
May be its time
To figure out the contrast

Let It Be

Sometimes we need to stop finding answers to the questions that revolve in our mind. Why to let agonize ourselves and dilute our smiles. Sometimes " Let it be " is the only answer or may be the solution to our so called fears and problems. That is what I have learnt last year. Let it be and you see things automatically turn out in the way you want them to.

I am not saying that don't ever try to figure out the solutions to your problems. But when you feel that you are being woven more, at that point, just Let it be and you shall see the difference. 

We all have enough resonance to not let our mind and heart muddle up. So for once just Let it be and you shall feel so enhanced and this world shall seem more beautiful. 

Let it be people. Sometimes just Let it be. 

For Once

Walking the streets alone, for once
I dream
A little rain
And I hop over the puddles
Zilch to worry
I sway and spin
I whirl and twirl
To the songs I hear
I stop, eat, I walk again
I walk and walk
Until I reach eternity
Where I could just sit and write
Write till the ink goes dry
I walk back later
Now under the clear sky
I observe the rainbow
I promise myself
To be vibrant like these colours
I reach back
I sleep instantly
I have the best dreamless sleep
For my dream turned real
Though for once
Just once

Her Guy

She is beautiful. She is mature.People consider her a big girl. She is responsible enough. Irrespective of all these qualities she consider herself not so special. Nothing unusual she gets in herself. So here you may say that this girl or lady is considered to be an epitome of maturity, sensibility, responsibility and probably all certain bigness. But she feels she is ordinary and so like a very next door girl, she has some enlisted Must-Be-Qualities for her prince charming(Prince charming may sound cheesy).

There is just not one. A few of them maybe. But there is this one thing she thinks that would mainly strike the chord with her beloved and that is getting out her inner immaturity. She feels the person who could make her let out the so called 'bachpana' in her would be her soul mate. She loves being pampered, though she has never been. So someone who could pamper her holds the number one position.Sometimes she wants to act so crazy and go wild. She dreams for someone who could handle her crazy stupid actions she would like to do out of a sudden. Someone who for once could realize that yeah she may be mature but within she is a child who loves being insane at times and feels like not have this fully fledged big girl image.

So people she is not that big girl and the guy who acknowledges this, is her guy. 

The Web Of Emotions

Getting trapped in their emotions is quite a daily cup of tea for some people. Though the sun gives or probably grants them a fresh start, yet they wait for the moon. Nights become their best friends you may say as they can then unveil their true selves. Through out the day the strong voices in their head wander around and try to dominate them. Moreover their sorrows try to drown them. They so want to run but there is no escape. They feel so helpless. They don't want to be in such a situation but then these thoughts, these emotions hover over them. But what do they choose to do? They choose to stay silent, in hope that this phase would slowly pass. But instead this web of emotions gets complicated. Their wait for them to pass never ends. Their courage dilutes slowly and their fear trounces them to utter extent. Gradually they accept these emotions and sorrows. They embrace them within. Their presence becomes so strong that they turn into addiction. But as mentioned that nights become their best friends, so every night the mask falls off. Underneath the blanket where there is no one watching them they scream silently and shed out the unheard fears, the unheard sorrows and their unheard emotions and then they find themselves breaking down and falling asleep on a pillow which is soaked with their emotions but then again in the morning it is all dried up.  

I Flaunt

Everyone around has something or the other to flaunt upon. What do I flaunt upon? I flaunt upon sharing my birthday with my 'Nanuji', my role model. Some would laugh, some would feel so stupid of me probably in an awe as to what is there to flaunt upon. But from the day I have gained my senses, I have felt so blessed to share my birthday with him. It sometimes seem that among all the grand children, I was favoured to do so. Sometimes I really wonder why and thereby sometimes I so feel that my bond with him is so predestined. We do share a distinctive bond and I love it so. Give me an opportunity to talk about him and you'll see I shall never stop until you would ask me to do so.

He's a man with such an aura that you cannot resist yourself from talking to him. He speaks and you just want to listen.

His concentration powers are out of this world. Whatever he may be doing; reading, watching television or any other little thing, you literally need to shake him up and get him back into the real world.

Though born in pre-independent  era, he has never let generation gap established between his generation and the other. He believes and accepts the fact that water keeps on flowing. I adore him.

His eagerness to learn even at this age is something one should acquire.

He would so easily lessen your encumbrances.  

I have spent my childhood days with him. Those days are still vivid in my mind, every morning and evening going to a walk with him. Learning English and Mathematics. Everything has been captured by my soul.

Words will fall short to describe him. He is the only one. I owe him a lot. God bless him.
 
Where today the present generation only wants to spend and share their time with their peers, I can spend a year after year conversing with him 24*7.

March 25, you are special. On this day, a legend has been born and again I say, I flaunt.

Emotions don't have words. Wishes don't have scripts.

A new day always begins with a new hope. All set to forget the despondent days and make ourselves radiant enough. Some have plans for every day and some just take in what comes their way.

So, does life always go in a planned way ? What is everyday like ? What emotions we encounter ?
Are some wishes fulfilled ?

You make certain realisations from the daily happenings. I too made a few.

Expectations from our loved ones are always on a high. The way we treat them, we expect them to  be the same. Though being mature all the time, we forget people are not identical. Everyone has their own character trait. We need to accept them the way they are as your love for them takes the prior seat rather than your expectations. You love them They love you. That's all that matters.

Happiness is all stored in small packets. You know as its said, " Chota packet, bada dhamaka", holds so true. You could never wonder and just a small happening would widen your smile and glow your eyes. Your brother expressing his feelings for you that how much he loves you. Making you realise that you are an indispensable part of his life. Reliving the old moments you cherished. Experiencing the same old days again with your best friend that you were missing. I never had thought that just a mere thirty minutes gossip with her before going to bed would get me goose bumps. But it did, probably because it happened after a long time. I love them both.

Changes are never constant. Wandering around, one day it strikes your mind that you are changing. You find yourself not to be the same. You are not acting the way you used to do. You are not responding to things. You are quite. You accept that you have just become antithetical. But trust me these changes are there for few days. Till the time things don't turn out the way you want, these changes stay and once you get used to it or probably if fortunate enough, things turn out the same way you expected, these changes bid you good bye.

Sometimes you have to suffer in life, not because you were bad but because you didn't realise where to stop being good.

All these above mentioned things makes you so emotional. You so want to let others know about it. But your emotions don't find words. You so want to make a wish list an mark a tick aside it once fulfilled but you never find a script for your wishes.


 


 

The Fantasy

Sometimes the woods

Sometimes the beach 

I imagine

The hands held together 

Down on the sand 

I see

The rays through the canopy

And that over the sea

Tightens the hands

Hide and seek

And the bare foot walk

Makes me smile

The whispering 

Silents the leaves

And even the tides

The smiles

Dwindle's the chirping

And the shimmering sand

The eyes

Lessens the grace of flora

And the beauty of shells

Words fall less

And the silence speaks

From the woods

To the beach I imagine

The Uncertain Certainty

A group of friends sitting together were asking each other their DREAMS, something like what they want from life. They were four and three of them answered. The answers were quite impressive. The fourth one almost knew everyone's answer. It was her turn now. The three of them turned to her. She tried to divert the topic first, probably she didn't want to answer, probably she didn't know her dream, probably she never thought too much, though she knew that her happiness lies in really small things, day to day happenings : a good gesture from a friend, a healthy laughter, talking to someone after a long time, talking to her brother and on and on.... She always want these small good happenings to occur frequently. If you may call this a dream, then yes its a dream.

But she never mentioned the above disclosed thoughts of her. She said. "My dream is to start thinking for myself." Yeah she hardly thinks for herself. To utter astonishment in the previous days she was upset thinking that she's too selfless, that she doesn't have time for herself and this made her cry every night shedding tears on her pillow. This is really a petty issue, she would wonder sometimes. 

Probably her answer was inconvenient for her friends. They asked her again saying, "That is what we are asking.What do you want for yourself in life?" And again her answer was,"I would like to think for myself."

She wondered in mind, if she never gave time to herself , never thought for herself, how could she know what she wants from her life. Her dreams are probably hung up somewhere clipped or probably she's looking up for some key to open the room for her dreams. 

What could be the certainty in the two probabilities. Its uncertain she thinks.

The Yellow Pages....

Here today sitting idle, I was turning the pages of my poetry notebook. From grade ninth to grade ten I wrote about forty eight poems both in English and Hindi. There were three poems of mine I always liked. Just felt like sharing it . Here it goes.. Sorry no titles as such..

1) Fighting the dark
    Fighting the fear
    Lighting the spark
    With all that care
 
    Closing the eyes
    To see no hate
    That's being wise
    And not by fate

    Sharpening the mind
    To get a sweet fruit
    One of a kind
    Tightened from the roots

    Working very carefully
    To commit no clanger
    Admiring yourself respectfully
    To have no danger

    This is all you to cling
    To rest upon your heart
    To let the eyes blink
    With no unfinished part

2) There's change in the soul
    There's change in the mind
    There's change in the heart
    Of all that kind

    There's change in the character
    There's change in the thoughts
    There's change in the feelings
    Of all that sought

    The villain ruling inside
    burns into ashes
    Some calm thing emerges
    Leading further no clashes

    Thinking day and night
    What is this all about
    Its nothing but forgiveness
    Throwing all bitterness out.

3) The treasure
    The pleasure
    Which no one can measure

    The wheel
    The feel
    Which no one can seal

    The lane
    The sane
    Which is all to gain

    The moon
    The boon
    Which is not till noon

    The time
    The rhyme
    Which when forgotten is a crime

    The door
    The core
    Yes ! Its friendship a lot more.....

Well I don't know where these thoughts came from. Are they good? I liked them then. Do I like them now ?
   

Chamber Of Secrets

Holding on so many things deep inside
I am a chamber of secrets
You'll not be able to seize it out

Though old,yet pure
And
Freshness prevailing
You'll not be able to wonder at all

Take a chance
And
Probably you shall fail
Hey, hold on
There's nothing to haste

For what you know
It isn't even half of me
Let the leaves shed
Its hard, you see

You tried, I appreciate
But dear
I am a chamber of secrets
And I said
You'll not be able to seize it out

An Uncanny Shade...

Recently I read a quote:

Life Is An Echo..

Everything Returns..

The Good And The Bad..

The Lies And The Truth..

So 

Give The Best You Have To The World

And

The Best Will Come Back To You...!

It makes me wonder ; Is Life REALLY An Echo? Well if I have to answer this. It would be a NO. Till date I  have been oblivious about the so called 'Mantra' of life. What I have seen the maximum till now, is the bad happening to good people and good to the bad ones. I have no complains regarding the wonderful life of bad people. But why the former suffer then?

It is often said by the society that we are punished for the sins we committed in our previous birth. From my experience then it can be calculated as; the good, humble people now; were the sinners in their previous birth and vice versa. Wow !! This doesn't make any sense to me.

The best people around me have always been the biggest sufferers. 

Someone please explain the tactics of life. What does it really wants? How it actually Works?